Mirror Reflections

reflection

So many times I’ve found that my single friends ask themselves, “Are there any good men out there?”, What’s wrong with me, why is it that everyone around me has found true love, except me?”.  I recently had a dear friend and relative to question whether she would ever meet a good man. After having been a single parent and divorcee, and having found true love, I suggested that she look in the mirror. My first thought was centered around whether or not she had taken a look in the mirror and considered if her expectations were realistic. She’s a sweet  and beautiful woman in her early 40s, who has had a variety of life experiences that has tainted her trust for men. I could only talk to her about her. I didn’t know much about the choices that she had made as it related to the quality of man she dated. I was more knowledgeable about her. I asked her permission to be honest prior to deal her a tough truth. I told her that she, all too often, went into relationships with expectations, (some being realistic and others being unrealistic). I suggested that she try going into her next relationship with out ANY expectations. By not having expectations she would find that she would be less likely to be disappointed. Furthermore, I suggested that she focus, primarily on embracing and owning her own shortcomings.  I told her that I was able to meet and enjoy being with a man that deserved it by first owning my own shortcomings. I also had to consider what I was composed of as it relates to my childhood and life experiences. I was raised in a single parent home, which occasionally caused me to discount how men expect to be treated. In addition, I had become this alpha female that didn’t think I needed to depend on a man for anything. The truth is I had become a monster who unknowingly didn’t respect men, which drove them to not respect my expectations of them. After some soul searching and honest evaluation of how much of a semi-feminist I had become, I found a book that helped me feel empowered, encouraged and focused on progress. The book I suggested she read is God, Where is my Boaz, by Stephan Labossiere.   Reflection: I’m learning day by that most of my frustrations in life, be it personal or professional, should motivate me to look in the mirror and consider how I contribute to my own calamity. How am I creating and contributing to the very things I identify as my stressors? Every attempt to resolve my issues should start with me journaling my OWN contributions, then further brainstorming about how I can control and  initiate the changes that are essential to living a gigified life!!! Reflections Check out the book! Very Eyeopening!!!! Happy GiGi’Fying

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