Are you Fakin’ it?

fake smile

Sooooo, have you ever caught yourself trying not to be so obvious at faking it. Why do we fake it? Why do we pretend. Is it to avoid exposing our true & potentially distasteful thoughts and feelings about a person, place or thing? Or do we “fake it” because we fear what others will think about what we really feel. Is it ok to confidently think and feel what your natural reaction is to something you’ve seen, heard, or felt? Why is it that all too often we think that in order to be successful and respected we should avoid expressing ourselves or acting in accordance with the “cookie-cutter” acceptable manner that is most socially accepted?

I’ve recently been having a excessive degree of “favors” asked of me recently, particularly at work. I’m finding that I am becoming increasingly agitated with everyone’s natural tendency to defer to GiGi. I realize that I’ve open the gates of hell by being so nice and willing to assist, however, I’m starting to feel like there are a few attempts to take advantage of my kindness.

I’ve been fakin’ it!!!!

I’m faking that I want to help, I’m fake smiling, I’m fake laughing, I’m fake assisting, I’m fakin’ enjoying it!!!!

After being called out on my typical “No I’m fine”. I’ve realized that I’m getting lousy at faking anything. So hell, what’s the use?

Reflection: I refuse to do it anymore. I’m setting boundaries. If I don’t wanna, I won’t. If I don’t feel like it, I won’t. If it’s not mutually beneficial, I dammit can’t!!!

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